To love again
by Sweet Strawberri
Summary: James is utterly depressed, and spends nights alone in the common room. No one knows what's haunting him, not even his best friends. But one night Lily finds him alone, and he opens up to her. This is the story of James' guilt ridden past and how Lily hel
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own most of the characters or settings. However, the plot is mine. Well, I think it is, I have yet to read a story with a plot like this one. Oh well…

Author's note: This is a VERY interesting plot. Quite weird, actually. Well, it came to me in a dream, so what can you expect? This is most definitely my best fic yet, so if you read any of my work, read this one! Hmmmm… I like the plot though… well have fun reading it, and if you have any questions about the plot or anything, feel free to email me or put it in your review, because I realize it might be a little confusing! Anyway to the story! 

James Potter sat, motionless, as if in a trance, staring into the merrily crackling fire. But James was far from merry. His eyes were red and blotchy as they watched the dancing flames. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and this time, he didn't bother to wipe it away. He heard footsteps padding softly down the stairs, but James neither knew nor cared who it was. He pulled his invisibility cloak over his head, and continued to watch the fire. The marauder in him turned around, curious as to who else but him would be in the common room this late. It was Lily Evans, the petite redhead who was head girl. He wondered why she, of all people would be down here at this hour. To James, it seemed she had the perfect life. What could possibly be keeping her from sleep? 

Lily crept down the stairs, and surveyed the deserted common room, before stepping onto the floor. She sat down in her favorite chair, by the window so she could stare at the stars. She would have gone to the astronomy tower, but it was risky with filch being on alert in that part of the castle, because it was the site of the marauders last prank. As she gazed at the moon, her neck prickled. She had the funniest feeling that someone was watching her, but that was impossible, she had inspected the common room upon entering. She finally ignored it, and let her mind wander. 

She hadn't been able to sleep because a certain someone had been haunting her dreams of late, and she was much to scared to fall asleep and risk finding herself amidst one of them again. The last time she'd lapsed into that nightmare, she'd awoken in hysterics, only to find that she was late for class, which if anything, caused her to become more upset. That certain someone's death hung over her like a storm cloud, always present, reminding her of things she'd rather forget. The guilt of it all drove her nearly insane with grief, but even now, after all these years, it was still there. Every so often something or someone would spark a memory, mayhap a good one, but no matter what the memory, no matter how dear, it always came back to the horrible guilt that rested upon her shoulders. Even when she was happy, she would always think, _she'll never be happy again. She'll never laugh again. She'll never love again. And it's all my fault. _And the thought of that would end her happiness. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't remember the last time she'd been truly happy since the tragedy. Her father was fond of reminding her that she wouldn't have wanted her to never be happy again. She wouldn't have wanted to be forgotten, but she certainly wouldn't have wanted Lily to dwell on her death for the rest of her life. Even if it hadn't been directly her fault, Lily was by now convinced that the blame should lay entirely on her shoulders. And there was no turning back once she'd come to that decision…

James watched her as she gazed at the moon. She was lost in thought, completely unaware of his presence. He thought for a moment, he should talk to her, that maybe she could give him some comfort, but the thought was gone in an instant, and he turned back to the fire. _She wouldn't understand anyway. What's she had to deal with that would help her to understand? Even my best friends don't understand, how could a girl I barely know give me comfort? _His mind, stubborn as it was, couldn't get the last words she'd ever spoken to him to stop repeating inside his head. Of course, being as ignorant as he was, he'd thought nothing of them then, but now they haunted his dreams, or rather his nightmares, resounding in his head, again and again. 

Flashback 

_"James? Is that you?"_

_"Yes. It's me."_

_"I just want to tell you that I love you. And I want you to promise me something."_

_"Anything."_

_"If something were ever to happen to me, promise me you wouldn't dwell on it. Promise me you would move on. Promise me you would love again."_

_"Oh, you don't have to worry! I won't let anything happen to you."_

_"Oh, James, I wish it were that simple. But please, promise me."_

_"You have to go now. You don't want to miss your portkey."_

_"James! Promise me!"_

_ End flashback_

And that was the last thing she ever said to him. He never did promise her like she wanted. His mind kept going back. Why hadn't he realized something was going to happen after she'd uttered those words? How could he have been so naïve not to notice? He was tempted to steal a timeturner and go back to that moment, if only to promise her and tell her he loved her too. But no, the last thing he'd ever said to her was "You have to go now. You don't want to miss your portkey." Had she died thinking of him? Had the thought been a good one? If he had been there, would he have been able to save her? But no, that's why she didn't tell him. Because she knew he'd have come after her. She had died, essentially, for him. And if he'd followed her, he would have died too, and then her death would have been for nothing. And his mind dwelt on their last conversation. He could still hear her voice vividly ringing out in his head. 

_"If something were ever to happen to me, promise me you wouldn't dwell on it. Promise me you would move on. Promise me you would love again. James! Promise me!" _

He shook himself mentally. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted. But he could not forget He would never forget. Fairly soon, he would just drown in his own thoughts, and he would never again come back to reality. He would only have his memories of her, and they would be his life. Part of him wanted this to happen. The other half, the one which was prevailing at the moment, told him that if anything, he should obey her last wishes. Not to forget her entirely, not to let her fade into nothingness until he could no longer recall her beautiful face, but to stop thinking of her constantly. To move on. To love again. But loving was one thing he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to do for a long while. No matter who he loved, no matter how perfect they were, half of him would always remember her, would always wish, would always hope for something he could never have. He would never truly love again. He would never love with his whole being. There would always be a part that belonged to her, a part that would be missing. A sharp intake of breath from the other side of the room startled him out of his reverie. James looked down, and realized with a jolt that his invisibility cloak had slipped, revealing his head.

Lily stopped gazing at the moon for a moment and turned to the fire. The flames were still dancing, and the smoke swirled up the chimney. And as she gazed upon the flames, James Potter's head appeared out of nowhere. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She blinked to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, though why she would hallucinate James' head was beyond her. She opened her eyes, but no, he was still there. 

"James? Wh-What are you doing down here?"

But James didn't answer, he pulled his cloak off completely and stared listlessly into the fire.

"James?" she tried again. "Is something wrong?"

"OF COURSE SOMETHING'S WRONG! I WOULDN'T BE DOWN HERE ALONE FOR THREE HOURS IF SOMETHING WASN'T WRONG!" he roared, and Lily shrank back, horrified. Without warning, his features softened, and suddenly he looked utterly exhausted and depressed. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I- I'm in a bad mood." 

Lily was far too shaken up to respond, so they sat in silence for a few moments. She finally found her voice.

"I don't suppose you'd like to talk about it?"

James looked murderous for a moment, but then he turned thoughtful. He hadn't told any of his friends what had happened over the summer. Why should he confide in Lily? But there was something about her. Maybe it was because she looked just as depressed and exhausted as he felt. Who knew. But for some reason, he felt the need to open up to her. To spill his heart to her. He had a strange feeling, that somehow, she'd understand. 

"Y-yes. Actually I would." He choked out, embarrassed by his blotchy face. 

"Really?" she questioned with a concerned expression. 

"If you'll listen."

"Of course."

"W-Well, everything started at the beginning of last summer when I arrived at my Grandmere's estate in France…" 

Author's note: so… this chapter is basically the intro to the story, but from this point on its going to alternate between James' summer and the actual conversation. So its kind of a twist, two romances in one. And there might be a little adventure later on. The next chapter is going to be about James getting to the estate and meeting the girl the story is about… 

If you want to find out what's going to happen, please review!!! J its appreciated muchly! 

-Sweet Strawberri =D 


	2. Invisibility and Certain death

Disclaimer: I do not own most of the characters or settings. However, the plot is mine. Well, I think it is, I have yet to read a story with a plot like this one. Oh well…

Lili: Thanks! I'm honored that you think my fic is worthwhile! =D

Caffeine: you really think so, eh?

Flossie1: right! Well, its going to take a while, because James is still getting over Renee, but yes, it will happen! I'm happy you like it!

Chapter 2

Invisibility and Certain death

James lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, happy to be sleeping in on a weekday. Summer had just begun, but the euphoria of school letting out had passed quickly as this summer was to be different from summers of the past. For the first time since he had started at Hogwarts, James would not be spending the summer with Sirius, Remus and Peter. Instead, he'd be spending it with his Grandmere, whom he often referred to as "the hag", in her estate in France. Needless to say, he wasn't much looking forward to it. Who knew what she'd force upon him? Ballroom dancing? French lessons? Table etiquette? He shuddered at the thought. 

"James?" his ever-cheery mother called up the steps from the hall.

"I'm coming, Mum!" he hollered back, finally sitting up. He swung his legs onto the floor, and stubbed his right toe on the corner of his trunk in doing so. He had, in fact, gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Which could only mean one thing: this was going to be a horrible day. 

For James, packing was a simple matter. He simply threw a good portion of his wardrobe haphazardly into a few suitcases. (A/N: I don't know about the rest of you, but that's how I pack…. Lol) He had a feeling Grandmere wasn't going to be too pleased by the fact that his clothes were wrinkled from his harsh treatment of them. But it was just another way to annoy her without putting her over the edge, which James happened to very good at. He was always careful about toeing this line, as Grandmere in a temper was one thing the great James Potter could not handle. 

The last time he'd gotten her in a state, he'd been eleven years old, fresh from his first year at Hogwarts. Grandmere was visiting, and Sirius happened to be visiting as well. Grandmere had brought her precious cat, Pooky, who James often thought she liked more than him. Pooky wasn't exactly a lovable animal. James had always thought of it as an overgrown cotton ball. And it was after he had voiced this opinion to Sirius that the trouble started. Both boys were feeling particularly mischievous that night, and as such Sirius was able to convince James to aid him in the plot. Needless to say, Grandmere was not exactly pleased when her cat no longer had legs or a tail…

He cracked a grin at the memory. Despite the trouble they'd gotten in, seeing that spoiled cat roll over repeatedly in an attempt to reach his food bowl was priceless. James heaved his two suitcases across the hall and threw them down the stairs, then slid down the banister after them. His mother walked into the hall at the precise moment he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"James? Oh! There you are. You did pack, didn't you?" his mother arched her eyebrows as she inspected him. 

"Yeah. I packed." He grinned cheekily at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but then her face relaxed into a smile. 

"Well I'll see you off to the train then. You don't want to be late for Grandmere." 

He smiled back at his mother, but under his breath he muttered, "Of course, I don't want to be late for the hag…"

He had a feeling his mother wouldn't like the idea of him flying his broomstick to the train station, so he grabbed his broom, gave her a quick hug and was out the door before she could say a thing. His mother had already bewitched his bags to be feather light, so he secured them to the end of his broom. He pulled his invisibility cloak over his head and the broom. He mounted his broom and soared into the crisp air. James sighed as he rose higher and higher. This would probably be the best part of the whole bloody trip… 

All too soon, he spotted the train station below, and began his gradual decent. He kept the cloak on and slipped on the train. Why should he pay anyway? He didn't see the point, even though he had more than enough money to pay for a ticket. He couldn't resist tripping a few people as he found a seat. He'd have to be quick, in case someone decided to sit where he was sitting, but of course, that was part of the lure of not paying. He liked the idea of getting out of the way just in the nick of time. The train pulled to a halt and James got up and made his way up the aisle towards the door. But no one else was getting off, and as James was invisible, the conductor closed the doors before James even had a chance to reach the door. James was about to swear, but then he realized it would be awfully odd for muggles to hear a string of profanities come from thin air. He'd just have to get off at the next stop. The next stop, unfortunately, was Paris, a good hour away from where he needed to be. He quickly leapt out of the train as soon as the doors opened, hitting the pavement, and pulling the cloak off. He looked around, clutching his suitcase. Finally he headed towards where the train station opened up to the city, feeling bewildered by it all. Then of course, a new emotion swept over him; panic. He was in a strange, large city, with no way to contact his Grandmere and nowhere to turn to for help. He sighed again and kept walking, looking for signs of anything magical. He was walking fast, and not watching where he was going, staring at his feet. He ran headlong into a slender, chestnut haired girl with piercing blue eyes, who looked to be but a few years older then he was. They both fell over, and he saw something long and wooden fall out of her pocket: her wand. Upon seeing where his gaze had fallen, she grabbed it and hastily stuffed it in her pocket. She began talking rapidly in French, but seeing his blank expression, switched to English. 

"You're not a muggle, are you? Are you lost? Where are you trying to get t-"

He cut her off. "No, I'm not a muggle. Yes, I am lost, and I'm trying to get to my Grandmere's estate."

"And who exactly is your Grandmere?"

"Veronica Potter."

"Oh! I know how to get there! In fact, I'm headed there now!"

James didn't respond. Just great. He thought. Now there was no way he'd be spared punishment. Grandmere would be sure to find out. This girl probably worked for her. He was doomed. 

Undeterred, the girl kept speaking. 

"So, that makes you James! Nice to meet you! I'm Renee, by the way." 

She has got to be the perkiest person I've ever met. Renee. What a pretty name for a pretty girl. I did not just think that! 

"You're the infamous trouble maker, right? James?"

"What? Oh, trouble maker? Yup, that's me."

"Ha ha. I wonder how you do it. Madame Potter is probably the sternest woman I know."

"How exactly do you know her?"

"Madame Potter? Well, she's a good friend of mine. She helped me pay my tuition to become an auror. It was most generous of her."

"She what?! She paid your tuition?!" Somehow, James could not fathom that his strict grandmother was capable of a generous act and could be friends with anyone other than her stupid cat. 

"Yes, she did. Why do you find that so unbelievable?"

"I-I don't know." He said slowly, still quite shocked. 

"Well, anyway, its best we get moving. You are coming with me? James? Aren't you?"

"Uh- yes. Yes, of course." He stuttered trying to make up for his inattention. He'd been staring at her while she talked and she hadn't even noticed.

They set off back to the train station, and James ended up paying for his ticket in the end. James, however was in a throughorly miserable mood, for his Grandmere was not going to be happy when her "friend" informed her of his little adventure. He stared listlessly out the window, wondering if his situation could get any worse. For the second time that day, the train pulled to a halt, but this time James was not invisible and therefore the door was opened for him and his companion. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach as they approached the two large doors that opened up to where his somewhat formidable grandmother resided. They passed through them, and low and behold, Grandmere herself, standing in the middle of the marble floor, stroking that overgrown cotton ball of a cat of hers and wearing a furious expression. 

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT! Oh, Renee, so nice of you to come. You may be seated in the parlor. I'll be with you in a moment."

Renee shot James a sidelong glance and winked at him, but instead of heading to the parlor, she strode up to Grandmere. She spoke quickly in French, and James had no idea what she was saying, but Grandmere kept narrowing her eyes at him. Finally she nodded to Renee, and looked at James again. 

"Alright, young man. Mademoiselle Dupont has explained the situation to me." James hung his head, this was it. 

"And I would like to tell you, I am proud of you. You did a noble thing. Mademoiselle Dupont extends her thanks, as do I. You may go now."

Naturally, James was completely confused. Why should Grandmere be proud of him for being late? For getting himself lost in the middle of Paris? Renee raised an eyebrow from the other side of the room at him. Ah. She had made something up! She'd covered for him! But why? He followed Renee into the parlor and caught up with her.

"What did you tell her?"

"Oh, just a little yarn about how you saved me from certain death."

"Certain death?!" 

"Yes, certain death. Now move, before she notices."

James moved out of her way, completely baffled. He had never met a girl who was as confusing as this one. Certain death? Wasn't that a little far fetched? Well, Grandmere had obviously believed it, because he wasn't in trouble. But more importantly, why had this girl he barely knew lied to the woman who had paid her tuition to save his back?

Author's note: ooh, James is having girl trouble! Tee hee hee.. whew! That chapter took a while to write! Well, hope you like it! PLEASE review! Please! You're not getting the third chapter, which is going to be about James and Lily, until I get more reviews! So, please, do review! If you're going to take the time to read the whole thing, you might as well review!!!! =D

-Sweet Strawberri J


	3. A Disappearing Friend

Lili: nice to know you like it!

Marauder3Moony: I hope I get far, well I will if i get reviews!!! J

"Barbara Witthaus" : Mb, I know you think yourself enormously hilarious, but did you have to post the same review three times? ***grins***

Chapter 3: A disappearing friend 

James looked up at Lily for the first time since he'd started his tale, partly to catch his breath and partly to see her reaction. He himself had a rather elusive smile on his face, remembering his own puzzlement of the past. She was wearing a concerned expression and seemed to be wholly occupied with James' rendition of his tragic summer thus far. 

"James?" she touched his arm gently. "Are you f-finished?" she asked timidly, as if she was afraid he'd explode at her again. Which, now that he thought about it, was a perfectly legitimate fear. 

"No, I'm not quite done." He said serenely with a bashful smile in her direction. 

She was a little taken aback, it seemed she'd been bracing herself for another outburst. "Oh."

"Do you have any, er- questions- comments?"

She gave him an appraising look. "Well… yes."

"I'm all ears." 

"You were a bit- a bit, well cocky!" she cringed, afraid she'd pushed him too far.

Instead, he smiled serenely again. "I was a bighead, okay? Just say it. You don't have to be so polite. I'm well aware of it."

"Okay…" She was unsure of how to react to this statement.

"I just hope I'm not as much of a bighead now as I was then."

"No, just for saying that, you're most definitely not."

Another listless smile, and he stared out the window. After a few minutes of this, Lily spoke up. 

"James? Sorry but, well, its almost time for breakfast."

"Breakfast, eh? Well, then we best go back to bed so everything seems in place. We'll finish this little er- chat tonight?." And he disappeared into the boys' dormitories. 

"Okay…" she said meekly, not entirely sure he had heard her, before climbing the stairs to her own dormitories. She wrenched open the bed hangings and fell with a thud onto the bedspread, her head spinning. Potter, the guy she'd always thought, even known to be a bigheaded jerk- had a sensitive, emotional, caring side? What was this? And who else besides her knew of this hidden personality? 

"Lily…….! Anybody home? It's time for the break of the fast!" One of Lily's good friends, Lotte Young, was leaning over her, a huge smile firmly in place. "Come on sleepy head! Rise and shine! Especially shine!" she continued on, undeterred by Lily's obvious lack of enthusiasm. "And don't give me this 'I'll rise but I won't shine' stuff! No, no, no!" she finished in a singsong voice, heaving Lily out of bed. 

"I want to go back to bed…" 

"I'm with Lil on this one, sorry Lott." Came Cee Martinez's voice from across the room, followed in quick succession by a yawn. 

"Hmph! You two need to get over this! The term's barely begun! I suggest you get used to it!" 

"Does that mean you'll be giving up on us?" asked Cee in a sleepy voice. 

"Of course not!" answered Lotte cheerfully, never wavering from her bubbly manner. 

Uh huh… Where's Jeanette?" yawned Lily.

"Where do you think she is?" said Cee who was by now donning her school robes, and her sarcasm by no means lost on Lily. Lotte and Lily burst into giggles and cast weary glances at the bathroom door. Lotte checked her watch. 

"She should be coming out soon. It's been about an hour and a half." the girls burst into fresh peals of laughter. 

"And I need to brush my teeth!" exclaimed Lily in between giggles. Cee strode up to the door and rapped smartly upon it. 

"JEANETTE MARIE KING, BY THE ORDER OF PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE LAVATORY!" Cee said all this in a voice quite similar to their young but stern transfiguration professor. The door flew open, and a very flustered Jeanette emerged, looking wildly about. 

"Oh, professor! I-" she stopped and looked from Lily, who had her hand over her mouth to stop from laughing, to Lotte, who was trying very hard to keep a straight face, to Cee's triumphant smirk. Her hands flew to her hips. She sniffed. 

"Why must you all torment me so?"

"Oh, Jeanie, we're not tormenting you!" answered Cee, pronouncing it with a J sound as opposed to the French pronunciation. 

"Cee! It's _Jeanette_, not Jeanie. How many times to I have to tell you?" Jeanette flounced off, still rather distressed and pulling herself into her bed, wrenched the bed hangings closed. So she never noticed the tiny smile tugging at Cee's lips. Lily, Lotte and Cee burst into giggle anew. A voice muffled by the bed hangings called out over the din, 

"I know why you do it! You're jealous! Jealous of my natural highlights, and because I am a proper young lady!" It might have been even funnier, but Lotte, Lily and Cee played the same trick just about every morning. The funny thing was that 'Jeanette' always fell for it. 

"Of course, _Jeanie, _that's exactly why we do it. You've hit the nail on the head." 

Another sniffle, and then she strode down the dormitory staircase presumably to breakfast. "And it's JEANETTE!" 

"Nice talking to you, JEANIE!" Cee called after her. 

Fainter this time but still audible, came, "JEANETTE! IT'S JEANETTE! I WILL NOT ANSWER TO ANYTHING BUT JEANETTE!"

"Whatever, JEANIE!" 

"IT IS JEANETTE! DO YOU NEED IT SPELLED?"

"Yes, that would be lovely." Jeanette missed the sarcasm dripping from Cee's every word.

There was a pause, as if she had to think about how to spell her own name. "J-E-A-N-E-T-T-E!" 

"And you just answered twice to Jeanie."

"Hmph!" and Jeanette left the common room, out of shouting distance. 

"It's a wonder she's not in Hufflepuff." Commented Lily, as the three girls descended the staircase to the great hall sometime later. 

"Lily! That's mean!" said Lotte playfully. 

"Well, really. She is the least brave person I've ever met! She's afraid of the dark, for merlin's sake!"

"Hey, no fair. I'm afraid of the dark!" said Cee in a timid voice accompianied by a huge grin. 

"Hey, there's Nory! Nory!" They approached a brown haired girl sitting at the Gryffindor table looking rather windblown. 

"Quidditch practice?" questioned Lotte sympathetically. 

Nory nodded and grinned. "It's worth it though. We've got to beat Slytherin, haven't we?" 

"Naturally." Added Cee. 

At that moment they were joined by the most infamous troublemakers Hogwarts has ever seen: the marauders. 

Unfortunately, they were accompanied by Jeanette, who was practically hanging off Sirius Black's arm. 

"Hey Jeanie, smashing to see you." Cee said casually by way of greeting. 

"Oh, Cee. Don't worry, I understand why you can't remember my name. It's ok. I realize that some people are slower than others, and I promise not to correct you anymore when it's obvious your brain just can't handle it." 

There was a pause, everyone seemed to be trying to figure out if she was being sarcastic or if she actually felt sympathy for Cee, who happened to be the top witch in their year. A moment later the question was answered. 

Oh, Cee!" and Jeanette leaned forward and hugged Cee. She broke it off after an awkward moment, in which the audience of this little show were all trying desperately to keep from laughing. Jeanette, as ignorant as she was, didn't notice. 

"Really. I mean it. I'd be happy to help you on school work- class work, homework, anything." And Jeanette smiled.

There were a few sniggers from Lotte and Nory's direction, but Jeanette was either ignoring them or she hadn't heard it. 

"Oh no! I've got to run! See ya!" Jeanette dashed out of the great hall in the direction of the potions department. As soon as she was out of earshot, everyone let loose their laughter, and Nory laughed so hard, tears were in her eyes. 

"That was bloody brilliant! Just bloody brilliant! The girl should be a comedian!" was all Sirius had to say. 

"Honestly Sirius, how do you put up with her?" asked Lily, shaking her head.

There was a pause, as Sirius looked from Lily to Cee to James and back to Cee. In that order. His eyes still on Cee, he said, "What do you mean, put up with her?"

"Um- you two are going out?"

"What? Me and Jeanette? No way! We are not together! Where did you get that idea?" 

Lily rolled her eyes and she and Cee shared a secret look. "Sure, Black, sure." 

***Later***

"You honestly believe Black is crushing on me?"

"Yes! It's a given. Black is just so obvious about it."

"Lily, I just can't believe that."

"Well, you better start believing it! I bet you anything he asks you to the Yule ball." 

Cee flipped her long, straight dark brown hair over her shoulder and fixed her liquid black almond shaped eyes on Lily. 

"What?" 

Cee shook her head and marched off to their next class, transfiguration.

* * *

"Hey, have either of you seen Cee?" asked Lily, panting.

Nory and Lotte looked at each other. "No. Why?"

"Is something wrong Lily? What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened. But where's Cee?"

"I honestly don't know."

Lily ran off down the corridor, in search of her friend. Her mind was racing. She hadn't seen Cee since she'd rounded that corner to transfiguration. But Cee hadn't been present in the class. Where could she have gone? How did she just disappear like that? It was now dinner time, it had been several hours. Was she hurt? Did she need help? The possibilities were endless, and Lily was wrought with worry. 

**BOOM**

Lily collided head on with- "James? Oh, I am so sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going!"

James offered her a listless smile. "I was daydreaming too. Don't feel bad. Though I must say, you do seem to be in a bit of a hurry. Why aren't you down at the great hall eating dinner with the rest of your friends?"

"Why aren't you?" she demanded, forgetting for a moment her worries. 

Another dreamy smile. "It need not concern you."

"Then I'm not telling you where I was headed." 

"Okay." And he made a move to step around her.

"No. Wait."

"Why?"

"I-I- I could, er use your help."

"In what?"

"Oh, James, I can't find Cee! She's been missing for hours! And I'm worried! What if something happened to her?" Lily broke down, a few tears rolling gently down her cheeks. She looked up into his misty hazel eyes. "Do you know where she is?"

He pulled her back to her feet. "Don't worry. I think I may know where she is." And he set off at a furious pace, Lily following close behind. They walked into the entrance hall, and out to the grounds. The light was fading fast, it was nearly night. He led her around the edge of the lake, to a large boulder and- 

"CEE!" 

Cee jumped about five feet in the air. "What- James? LILY?" her eyes widened when she spotted Lily. 

"Oh, Cee! I was so worried! So this is where you've been." 

Cee said nothing and sat back down with her back against the rock, closing her eyes. 

"Oh. I'm sorry." Lily backed away, turned on her heel and ran back to the castle. Cee made no move to stop her, instead she sighed. James ran after Lily to the castle.

Author's note: Long post! Whew! Sorry it took so long for it to get up there… you know school starting… homework, studying…. No time for anything but eating, sleeping and….. sleeping!!! Well anyway…

That chapter was just to introduce Lily's friends (especially the enigma that is Cee)… so please review… 

As you may remember the next chapter will be about what happened over the summer that changed James so much… 

Oh yes and I'm aware this chapter wasn't very good, and I promise future chapters will be better! 

Please r/r! 


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